


Down in the Cornfield

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Stargazing, Suicidal Thoughts, UFOs, not really but they're out there somewhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:23:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler felt like home, but that was what Josh had been running from.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down in the Cornfield

Adventure isn’t something you plan. It pulls at your sleeve when you’re least expecting it, whispers to you when you’re trying to focus. Or, in some special cases, falls through your window at two in the morning and knocks over your bookcase.

Tyler was a special case. 

“Josh?” he whispered out into the darkness of his room.

“Yeah?” 

“Stop coming in through my window. There’s literally a door right there.”

“Didn’t want your parents to see me.”

Tyler snickered. “They probably _heard_ you anyways.” He sat up and leaned over to flick on the lamp on his bedside table, taking in Josh’s appearance as the boy was illuminated by the dim light. He was still dressed in the clothes he wore to school earlier that day, although he looked more disheveled and unkempt. His cotton candy pink hair was falling into his face and it didn’t take long for Tyler to notice the swelling he was trying to hide. 

“Do you want some ice?” Tyler knew better than to ask who or why.

Josh shook his head, moving to sit on the edge of the bed across from Tyler. He took the boy’s hands in his, gazing at him with a wild look in his eyes. “Let’s do something.”

Tyler looked back with concern and disbelief. “It’s 2 a.m. and you’re deciding you want to go on an adventure _now?_ ” Josh nodded, leaning forward and whispering excitedly. “There’s something in the air tonight, like I can do anything— No. Like I can’t, but I should.”

Tyler stared at him, bewildered, before sighing heavily and shaking his head. Josh grinned, standing up and pulling Tyler with him. “You up for some whiskey and self loathing?”

Tyler snorted. “If you want to be angsty and cynical, you’ll have to do that alone.” He startled as Josh threw some pants at him, hastily pulling them on and grabbing a jacket off the floor. He turned to Josh, who already had one leg through the window and a hand held out. 

“Ready for an adventure?”

Tyler took his hand. “Nope.”

It only took them twenty minutes and Tyler had no idea how it happened but there they were, slightly drunk and lost in a cornfield in the middle of nowhere. They were still holding hands, Josh pulling Tyler along through the tall stalks until they found a clearing of sorts that gave them a view of the night sky. They were far enough from the city that they could actually see stars, a rare occurrence for them; they were normally stuck staring at the moon and the occasional plane as they sat on the roof of a house in the depths of Suburbia. 

(Occasionally, they’d catch a glimpse of Mr. Robert down the street cheating on his wife, or Ms. Clara next door binge eating while watching Seinfeld reruns, but those spectacles quickly became boring and they’d go back to staring at pitch black.) 

Josh let go of Tyler’s hand and lay down, looking like a star battered and bruised in its fall. Tyler stared for a moment, an ache in his chest that he couldn’t push away, before lying down next to him. They sat together for a while, not speaking, just looking out into the vast infinity of the universe. Tyler was about to break their silence with a joking, “Are we looking at the stars or for UFOs?” but Josh beat him to it.

“Talk to me.”

“About what?”

“Everything you don’t want anyone else to know.”

There was a curious mixture of panic and safety in Tyler’s throat, choking him and easing his breath at the same time; Josh made him feel that way a lot. He didn’t say anything for a while, too afraid he would choke if he tried to speak. He just looked up at the night sky and tried to keep his anxiety from drowning him in his own thoughts. 

“I miss feeling like the world was infinite,” he whispered, afraid of his own words. “It all seems so small and dark now.” He turned to Josh to find the boy already staring at him. “Do you ever worry that when you fall asleep, you’ll just disappear? That— that nobody would care?”

“I would care,” Josh mumbled, hand making its way to grasp Tyler’s once more. “I would care, Tyler.”

They went back to staring at the sky.

“I’m sick of feeling like I’m not enough— not enough for who? I’m enough to make myself happy.” He sighed, rubbing his free hand over his face. “It’s strange, being okay with myself. I’ve wanted to be loved for so long… I don’t know what to do now.”

“It isn’t wrong, you know. Loving yourself, wanting to be alive— it isn’t wrong. _You’re_ not wrong.”

“I know, it’s just weird. Like, I wanted to kill myself five months ago—” Josh’s hand tightened. “—but look at me now, making music with my friends and playing shows in random people’s basements and genuinely enjoying being alive. It’s…”

“Different,” Josh finished for him. “Not bad, just different.”

The longer he stared at the stars, the more that would appear in the sky. Tyler was so occupied by the phenomenon that he didn’t notice Josh looking at him just as intensely as he himself was gazing at the heavens.

“I’m worried,” Tyler said, voice cracking. He cleared his throat before continuing. “I’m worried about how long it’s going to take you to leave. How long it’ll take me to miss you. You already disappear for days at a time, not telling anyone where you’re going or what you’re doing and it _scares_ me, Josh, it scares me because you say you’ll always come back to me but I can’t help but think that one of these days you’ll disappear for good.”

Josh scrunched up his face, pretending to consider the option for a moment before shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t have the nerve.” Tyler couldn’t help but giggle, although it came out wet and choked as if he was on the verge of crying. He turned his head to Josh once again, leaning into the hand that came to the side of his neck. Josh stared at him like he stared at the stars, kissed him like he was going to be gone come morning. 

The energy of the earth was pulsing through them, pushing together their bodies and souls until they were one tangled mess of awkward limbs and cerebral suicide. Their mouths, hands, hips moved desperately, Josh pulling Tyler on top of him and holding him as though he would float away and join the bright lights above them. They pulled apart, terrified and in love, and it was then that they realized they didn’t need to be infinite as long they were _real_ in that moment.

“Maybe this is the best it’s going to get,” Josh whispered.

Tyler smiled, small and uncertain but a smile nonetheless. “I think I’m alright with that.”

Josh held Tyler to the stars, heavenly body to heavenly body, and the earth whispered stories until they fell asleep.


End file.
